​Now, this was supposed to be a post on why being a writer is better than being in a band. Still is. But, from an audience point of view, no reading will ever be better than an average performance by a band. Readings force a false performative requirement on writers. Most writers are not performers. Lots of writers do not know this. And, lots of writers would rather shrivel up and recede into a cocoon of blankets, cats, herbal tea, and twitter before leaving the house to bore the shit out of everyone who is polite enough to stand in the room and not say anything when the author, after 12 minutes of reading their sci-fi epic, asks if everyone is good on time and continues for another 17 minutes in which they continue building a world no one in the room gives a shit about. In these moments, I greatly admire and envy the "rather-stay-homers." 

Now some writers are performers. They have a knack for live storytelling and engaging an audience—they've got whatever a comic's tight five is, whatever a band's powerset is, whatever thing Freddie Prinze Jr. and Matthew Lillard had in the 90s and then lost. Sadly, these writers are few and far between. But it's not always either Robin Williams on cocaine in Madison Square Garden or a trip to the dentist who doesn't have the right tools to rip out your wisdom tooth, but hey, they're gonna try anyway because you don't have insurance, and that fucker is rotttten. Plenty of writers fall in a sweet and sometimes sour spot of reading the room and giving their art the 5-7 minutes it needs before the other half of the room takes out their phones too. (Reading your words from a phone or tablet is a bad look. Maybe I'm old-fashioned? Maybe I can get an "amen?") P.S. I once heard in a whispered hush of a reading where all the poets read and were on and off in under 3 minutes each...I want to believe...

But goddamnit Daniel, why is being a writer better than being in a band? It certainly doesn't sound like it. 

It is the exact nature of the performative art and relying on an audience that makes being in a band the supremely shittier experience of the two. Writing is a solitary act. Reading is a solitary act. A band, by definition, runs contrary. From the artist point of view, here are the:

Top 10 Reasons Being A Writer Is Better Than Being In A Band

1. Other people.
2. As a musician you will arrive at the venue 3 hours before everybody else to load in, and then not get home until 3 in the morning. Readings generally have a tighter schedule, and there really isn't much time needed beforehand to get your words in tune.
3. Books are so much lighter than amplifiers.
4. For some reason, no one, not your friends or family, will ever listen to your music, but they might read your stories…if they’re short enough. Actually, this is probably a tie. No one actually cares. Top 9 Reasons why... 
5. Did I mention other people?
6. With the exception of readings and the blissful days of a writing retreat, you never have to leave your house.
7. With the exception of readings, you never have to ask anybody else to leave their houses. People are more apt to support your art with clicking their phones than leaving their homes. Sometimes, some of those clicks are the "Buy Now" button. It's not all about the money, but in one year, through all the paid marketing and gigging in support of an album, all the streaming revenue generated precisely $10.86 per band member. Forget merch sales and door money at the venue—that goes back to gas, beer, dinner that night, and the parking ticket you got while you loaded in.
8. No one thinks you’re smart because you’re in a band. Unless you're Brian May. Excuse me, Dr. Brian May, astrophysicist.
9. You don’t have to be young and thin to be a writer. You know this if you’ve ever seen a picture of your favorite writer. In fact, as a 30-something year old newcomer, I’m still considered “young” in writer years. I believe the lack of pressure on appearance allows a form of true art to come through.
10. Seriously, no matter how much you may love each other when you're in a band, did I mention other people?

Feel free to add or disagree in the comments. Be good, everyone.

This isn't a post about writing actual music. This is a post about the most KICKASS! music to listen to while writing.

Because I'm a cultured motherfucker, I listen to classical music when I write. I find music with words to be distracting when trying to craft my own. And, I'll wager anyone that's not moved to write some inspired prose while Chopin's Etudes settle into their bones doesn't have the soul to write inspired prose to begin with. All that solitude stuff that Rilke talks about - you won't get that with Beyoncé or Zeppelin. Your mind needs to be at ease to find those hidden layers and truths that good, lasting writing reveals.

Even though listening to classical music as a way to heighten intelligence and performance is mostly unsubstantiated in the scientific community, there is proof that loud and distracting music diminishes creativity, while ambience has a positive effect on creativity. Even though I squirm at referring to the works of LVB and Freddy C. as ambient, I am willing to concede that it does act as a background - a beautiful white noise that elevates our minds and souls.

Without further ado, here is my "Beginners Guide to Writing with Classical Music" playlist. You'll recognize some classics, maybe be introduced to some new ones, and hopefully discover the writer that exists when you shut the words off.